A Most Dangerous Mind
by Nemesis13
Summary: Julia Kingsley was Britannia's premier military strategist, was she not? She felt nothing for Sir Kururugi other then what one normally feels for their knight. Knight...the Black Knights...those wonderful...horrible traitors... Who was she? Why did she feel such a close connection to condemned terrorists...and why does Julia empathize with that dead fool Zero? Fem!Lelouch/Suzaku


**So, the original 'A Dangerous Mind' was seriously just a drabble dump, after talking with Lady Lily Anne a bit, I came to the conclusion it could be more, the original is getting dumped as this is getting published so I hope you enjoy the massive edit.**

 **Pairings are Fem!Lelouch/Eventual Suzaku, I haven't gone farther than that. Be prepared for references to yaoi, yuri, and het pairings, because I'm an equal opportunity offender and am willing to curry to all my readers if they make a compelling enough argument.**

* * *

There was silence, and screaming, agony and bliss, confidence and cowardice. It was so hard to differentiate between the impulses as she held her forehead and allowed the sweet agony of apathy to wash across her being. Shivering, she turned to her lone companion before speaking in a stilted manner failing to belay her ill ease in the process, further disgusting herself.

"I appear to be suffering from retrograde amnesia," General Julia Kingsley stated as she stared down at the uniform her apparent knight handed her. Sir Suzaku Kururugi locked eyes with her and the Britannian woman couldn't help acknowledging the loathing and hatred pouring from his hooded jade orbs.

For reasons she couldn't comprehend the young man's negative emotions infuriated her beyond words and made her want to equal parts murder him in the most visceral manner possible...and kiss him in turn...

"You were injured in a sortie against the Black Knights during the Black Rebellion in Tokyo, Japan. They got the better of you and the head wound they gave you must have been more severe then the doctors originally thought it to be. I'm sure you'll recover in time."

That was bullshit, Julia knew that for sure.

"You are likely correct of course, Sir Kururugi," Julia stated without physically expressing her opinion on his honesty.

She had _no_ head wound, and there was no doubt about that. Julia was fully self aware of her body and felt nothing wrong with it other then some general soreness from sitting still too long. Unfortunately calling the hate filled man on his lie would be counterproductive, so she shrugged it off and entered her train car cabin's tiny loo to change without further word.

So much information rolled through Julia's mind as she stripped herself naked that she couldn't quite keep track of her own thoughts, this would eventually be a detriment to Britannia but no one was aware of this fact at the moment, not even herself. Slipping on her bra and knickers Julia began sliding her stockings up her legs when she glanced up at the mirror and froze.

She was staring at a raven haired beauty with sharp features and a single strikingly violet eye, the other well... Leaning forward Julia stared at her reflection in awe, the sickly glowing red orb that had replaced her left eye pulsed lightly under her gaze. There...there appeared to be a caricature of a bird flying where the pupil should be and...

"What...what am I?" She slapped a hand over her mouth and resisted the urge to throw up when a returning thought thrummed through her head causing a pulsing migraine to settle in her mind.

 **"A Murderer, A Leader, A Visionary, A Goddess."**

Gripping the sides of her head Julia began muttering her personal prayer quietly as she swayed back and forth along with the trains meandering vibrations.

 _"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing._

 _Only I will remain."_

Turning her gaze back to the mirror she stared at the demonic visage before her a few moments longer before something brushed against her thoughts once again.

 **"Nunnally, Kallen, C.C., love...Suzaku, Schneizel, Father, Home, betrayal...betrayal, betrayal, betrayal, betrayal..."**

Shaking her head Julia turned away from the mirror and slid her short skirt on, zipping it up she grabbed the accompanying blouse slipping it on as well while her mind wandered.

Was she going insane?

Honestly?

It was a distinct possibility.

The names echoing through her mind were unfamiliar yet intimate, and she couldn't for the life of her remember who they were. Throwing her cape across her shoulders and fastening it around her neck Julia turned to the mirror as she scooped up her rather gaudy eye patch from its place on the sink and stared down at it in contemplation.

Rubbing her thumb and forefinger through the items thick material Julia couldn't help but feel that this was meant to keep something...right...something just...something powerful under guard.

 **"You will hold the power of the King, and it will lead you down a path of loneliness and sorrow."**

Julia shook her head as she tore her gaze from the mirror, slipping the eye patch into place as she did so. Taking in several deep breaths she shook her head harshly before settling herself.

She was Britannia's premier strategist. She was considered to be one of the most feared and reviled officers in his Royal Majesties repertoire. There were none more loyal to the throne than she.

That thought made her vomit.

Bending over the toilet she threw up her lunch and didn't stop gagging for several seconds, broken discordant words running through her head the entire time.

 **"Loyal, loyal, loyal loyal, betrayal, betrayal, betrayal. You were betrayed. Nunnally was betrayed. Father tried to kill you to cover up mother's murder. No loyalty.**

 **Britannia shall burn.**

 **Britannia** _ **will**_ **burn.**

 **You were betrayed by your friend.**

 **You were betrayed by the man you love.**

 **You betrayed your sister.**

 **You betrayed your men.**

 **You betrayed yourself.**

 **You betrayed your family.**

 **Euphemia is in Hell because of you."**

Julia threw up again, she frantically turned to the sink and twisted the faucets as she desperately cupped her hands to slosh water into her mouth just to spit it out again. Turning her single good eye to the mirror she shuddered as she took in its blood shot visage.

"Who am I, and What have I done?"

Taking in several heavy breaths she finished smoothing out her clothing before sliding the door open and stepping back into her cabin. Turning to Sir Kururugi Julia gave him the faintest of smiles which promptly fell as he glared at her, after a few moments he eventually spoke.

"We will be in St. Petersburg within the hour, be prepared to disembark immediately once we arrive."

Julia nodded as she turned to the windows and leaned against their wood frames as she watched the Russian countryside flash pass.

After a moment she repeated her earlier thought, "Who...am I?" Her reflection had no answer for her. As the trains gentle vibrations wormed the tenseness from her muscles she glanced towards Suzaku and for the life of her couldn't place the emotions that rushed to her mind.

Turning back to the window she shook her head failing to clear it.

How could you both love, and despise a man you've never even met?

Good God, she needed to kill some insurgents soon, otherwise she was going to drive herself mad.

* * *

As they arrived at St. Petersburg Julia and Sir Kururugi did their best to ignore each other's existence, when the train came to a stop her knight simply muttered "Follow me" and she did so with some mild irritation.

He really was an arrogant prat Julia mused to herself, as they reached the doors leading to their reception he further proved this by demanding she stay put while he made introductions further frustrating the woman.

Her frustration morphed into amusement at Michael Augustus's limp handshake and aloof attitude towards Sir Kururugi, obviously giving the knight the bare minimum requirement of respect his title earned him. Leaning against the train car's inner door frame cloaked in shadows she continued to listen in on the men as she lazily swung the riding crop that had come with her current outfit.

" **Milly would love to get a picture of me right now."**

Julia blinked at this alien thought not knowing who this 'Milly' was nor why she'd want a picture of her, but oddly enough the thought terrified her.

How interesting.

"The Lady with you must be quite important to his Imperial Majesty." At Augustus's declaration she decided that she had loitered logn enough, for some reason she felt compelled to play up her arrogance, to act offended at the lack of a grand reception.

In reality she was just glad to be off that goddamn train.

"Russia...did you know most of the people in this nation are descended from vikings? It makes you wonder how a bunch of Western European dandies took their home from them."

All the men present turned to watch Julia step from the train as she slapped the crop into her gloved hand, more then one of them staring at the exposed flesh between her stockings and skirt. Julia frankly didn't care about the ogling, she would likely encourage it if she could honestly.

Looking sexy distracted men, these men could be potential enemies to the Emperor in the long run, so further distraction only benefited her in her ongoing campaign to secure Eastern Europe for the Crown.

Not like it was difficult to manipulate men to begin with really, her attire simply bought herself more power over them.

The thought made stray laughter roll through her head.

"I'm sorry, miss...?" Augustus began, Julia sneered at him as she stood to her full height placing a hand on her hip as the ridiculous gem hanging from her just as equally ridiculous eye patch swayed like a pendulum.

"It's _General_ Julia Kingsley peasant. As for how you weaklings managed to take over Russia-" Her sneer quickly shifted to a condescending smirk- "It was through the use of my Emperor's war material and combat advisers that he so thoughtfully leant you.

"You're lucky Emperor Charles is a giving man-" she internally applauded herself for not throwing up again, a bit ironic since she was saved from that fate more due to her already empty stomach rather than her self control- "After all when your ancestors came begging at our doors hat in hand we had no real obligation to help reclaim your home."

" **Luckily for you Charles is a self interested megalomaniac and your desires mirror his."**

This traitorous thought didn't send Julia into a panic as she thought it should, instead she found it darkly amusing.

Interesting.

Walking past the surprised Sir Kururugi Julia stared up at the tall aristocrat with a full blown grin blossoming on her face. " _I_ happen to be his Imperial Majesty's best strategic adviser, and I'm here to hold your hands as we conquer the E.U. in the name of our glorious Empire. Now, why the hell are we standing here like gawking peasants? I have an appointment at the palace."

She was momentarily mortified as her hand quite automatically swung the riding crop to gently slap the still stunned Sir Kururugi on the arse as she playfully stated, "Close your mouth Suzu or you are going to get flies in there, come along."

Turning to the waiting car she brushed past all the stunned men hoping to Christ that she wasn't blushing as brightly at her own actions like she thought she should be.

For some reason...she didn't even think this incident would reach the top ten embarrassing moments in her life. Most of those involved someone with blonde hair and prodigious...assets...and it drove Julia mad that she couldn't remember any of it!

The car ride to Caesar's Palace was as to be expected, long, tiring, and boring. Julia didn't even have the distraction of contemplating her opening move against the E.U. to occupy her thoughts since she had already figured that one out. Maybe she could sweet talk someone into giving her access to a Knightmare and she could do a bit of joyriding, that could...oh they were here.

Sir Kururugi, who had been shooting her odd glances the entire ride sidled up to her side as they were escorted up the white marble stairs leading to the Palace's visitors center. Julia had to resist the urge to slap him with her crop once again, this time out of frustration, what did the knight think, that she was a dog on a short leash here for his amusement?

She was more than capable of protecting herself, she was not made of crystal and was more then willing to prove such.

Men, really.

They were soon guided through several ostentatious rooms and halls before they were brought to a stop in front of a pair of solid mahogany doors, the relief carved in to their thick panels showing an ancient battle between long dead armies.

Fitting.

As the doors swung open Augustus announced their arrival, "Lord Shin, the military adviser from Pendragon is here to see you, as ordered." Julia didn't frown at this turn of events, in fact it was a rather telling play that caused her mind to reel.

She was supposed to meet the leader of Euro Britannia who she had properly assumed was the Grand Duke, but now this?

How very interesting that this Japanese man turned Britannian Aristocrat would all but announce that he was the true power behind the throne with this little play. Hopefully he wouldn't be this obvious in all their dealings, politics could get so dreadfully tedious when you faced off against someone who cut with the dull edge of the knife.

"Lady Kingsley, it is a pleasure to meet someone so highly regarded by our Emperor, you honor us all with your presence." Julia felt her exposed eyebrow raise slightly at the mans rather charming introduction, his smile didn't reach his eyes though and she sensed a hidden coldness in their jade depths.

" **Green and cold, just like Suzaku's, wonder if he'll betray me as well."**

 _Fucking hell_ these random stray thoughts were getting on her nerves.

Tilting her head up slightly Julia curtsied with her cloak seeing as how her skirt was a bit short for that sort of thing as she replied in turn.

"Grand Master Shaing I have heard much about the prowess of you and your knights, although I was disheartened to hear about the Sir Manfredi's suicide. PTSD can effect even the greatest of minds it seems, although by all accounts he had been quite mentally sound. Alas we'll never know his motivations, however fortuitous they were for you."

She grinned internally as the corners of the asian man's eyes crinkled ever so slightly.

Oh my, perhaps this will be some fun after all!

* * *

Luluka Lamperouge was, for lack of more eloquent terms, _pissed the fuck off_. Throwing Zero's helmet at the corner of her room the violet eyed beauty ignored her self appointed room mate as she began muttering to herself.

C.C watched her contractor's irritated pacing as she herself pulled another slice from her meat lovers pizza taking a large bite out of it as Luluka finally spoke loud enough to be understandable.

"I don't understand why Euphemia wanted him, Suzaku was _mine_ how could she choose him to be her knight?! That fucking pink haired whore! Gods below...no Euphie would never...my favorite half sibling...Gods damn it all what am I supposed to do I wanted him to be _MY_ knight not hers... Fuck fuck _fuck!_ "

C.C. finished her slice of pizza as an eyebrow rose incredulously, "Is the unflappable Zero unsettled?" Luluka stopped to stare at her a moment and much to the immortal's surprise her contractor extended her right hands fore and middle fingers in a rather rude gesture aimed entirely at the French.

Was the princess aware of the immortal's lineage or was this just anger bleeding through? A rather interesting question for sure.

"Fuck you witch, the only man I've ever loved chose my little sister over me and there isn't anything I can do about it! Not that I _want_ to do anything about it really, I love Euphie dearly, she deserves to be happy even if it's being with the man I love...loved...

"Have to establish boundaries here...Kill them both...no...no...that won't help..." C.C. mused over that a few minutes as Luluka began pacing once again, eventually she sighed and approached her contractor grabbing the distracted girl be her head in the process.

"Take a shower, relax, we'll talk after you get out."

The exiled princess stared at her a few moments before sighing followed by a quiet, "All right witch...you win this time."

Smirking C.C. turned back to her horribly neglected box of pizza as Zero shed her outfit leaving it sprawled across the floor much to the limettes amusement.

Kicking her legs tirelessly C.C. listened to Luluka's movements in the shower and when she heard the water turn off she stood up knowing what had to be done.

Approaching the wall that the bathroom adjourned she leaned against it waiting as the door slowly creaked open and a cascade of steam roiled through the room.

"I really have no idea who invented the shower, but he deserves a knighthood," the Princess muttered as she padded into her bedroom wrapped in nothing but a soaked towel.

C.C. grinned as she slid her panties down her legs while unclasping her bra, naked now she approached her contractor and in one smooth motion tore the towel from her while pressing herself to the raven haired teens back.

"Does it really matter who invented it if it makes a women so...pliable?" Rather then resisting her Luluka paused for only a moment as she leaned back pressing her shoulders into C.C.'s supple breasts.

"No...it doesn't, but I don't like those closest to me keeping secrets." Spinning faster then C.C. would regularly give her contractor credit for the violet eyed young woman stared at her moment before kissing her deeply. C.C. groaned as she leaned into the Princess's embrace, fingers dancing along their backs as they found rooting in their equally thick hair.

After a time, hands and then fingers began wandering on more southerly routes before they broke the embrace, Luluka, eyes hazy shook her head lightly as she finally regained her previously haughty mask.

"What...what is this witch? What the hell do you want from me? You know I'm in love with Suzaku, what could you possibly hope to gain from this?" Smirking C.C. leaned forward stuffing her tongue into the younger woman's mouth as her fingers forced their way through her contractor's lower lips earning the immortal a throaty growl in turn.

Breaking the lip lock the yellow eyed vixen grinned in turn, "Taking what I want, dear Zero, and nothing more."

* * *

Julia snapped awake sweaty, unsettled, and far too hot and bothered for her liking as her manic gaze swept across her vacant room.

"What. The. Fuck. Was. That." It wasn't the girl on girl thing that had her unsettled, really at this point in her life she was well aware that she played for both teams and had no compunctions about lying on the subject.

What had her truly grasping as straws was the green haired woman, she...she wasn't a dream. As most of the details faded away the green haired woman remained as a haunting echo. She was someone important, someone forgotten, and Julia couldn't for the life of her remember who she was. Deciding that masturbation wasn't the answer to her questions and Sir Kururugi would liking shoot her if she propositioned him Julia took an incredibly cold shower and dressed for the coming day.

Sighing she plopped down into the office chair that really served better purpose as a bit of kindling than anything else and began her days efforts of watching as many videos on the terrorist known as Zero as possible whilst further damaging her back.

She liked the bloke's style really, his games of misdirection and distraction resonated with her and only fed the plans she had for the E.U. further.

Ironic really, the ideals of a revolutionary bent on the destruction of Britannia being the inspiration for the death of the largest democracy on the planet to feed them to the Homeland.

Brow crinkling Julia had to once again resist the urge to vomit as she finalized her battle plans knowing perfectly well that she'd be given access to the now obsolete prototype air fortress since it was, for all intents and purposes, disposable.

Soon, soon she would bring the E.U. to their knees, and sweep the continent clean of all their heresy for the glory of the Empire.

Julia barely managed to grab the dustbin in time to catch the bile that had forced its way from her throat; as the young women spat the sick from her mouth she couldn't help but wonder why this sort of thing kept on happening.

 **"Because you are an Empress bowing to the demands of peasants!"**

Julia threw up once again, and unbeknownst to her one of the chains wrapped around her psyche shattered, its fragmented remains damaging the others surrounding it.

Shaking her head she glanced at the monitor before nodding to herself mumbling, "Soon...soon... you will all bow to the one you serve..."

* * *

 **Overall I think this is a far better remastered version, and I rather enjoy experimenting with the SuzuLulu, please review!**


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